Smartphones and Chai Tea Lattes--the dreams of our ancestors

     It has bothered me for awhile that most preteens own a fancier phone than I do.  "Bothered" may also be another word for "irritated."  How do those kids afford the monthly data charges?  *sigh*  I can imagine all sorts of reasons why I should own a smartphone.  I would take more pictures with a good camera at the ready.  I would post those pictures more often and share my life with our family and friends.  I could organize our calendar, keep on top of emails, do facetime and do everything I ever dreamed of doing anytime, anywhere.  My life would be stress-free!  ; )
     I justify other purchases with the thinking that "I deserve this," too.  I definitely deserved that chai tea latte last week.  I deserved the second and third one, too.  I'm pretty sure I deserve chai tea lattes every day for the rest of my life.  I am trying to figure out how I came to believe this.  Only two generations ago my grandparents would splurge on melted brown sugar and cream on fresh-baked homemade bread.   Now for me to splurge it needs to involve overpriced frothed milk.  When I think about it, I really deserve a vacation to a warm beach, too.  I believe this so much that when I get a Groupon for a Caribbean vacation for only $300 I actually click on it, thinking maybe it is in the cards for me at this low price.  Airfare and taxes are of course not included.  Then reality sets in.  We are doing well providing for our family but we don't have disposable income.  Why then do I believe I "deserve" to live like I do?
     I think somewhere along the way our American dream exploded into a non-reality.  Whereas immigrants come to this country hoping to work hard and make an honest living and provide better educational opportunities for their children, third generation Americans (like myself) think, "Where should I go out for lunch?"  It is really hard for me to break away from that mindset, so ingrained it is (*Yoda voice*).  Indulge, treat yourself, be good to yourself.  Nice advice, but in practice what does that really do for me, for the world?  I drink more chai calories, dump a piece of paper tree cup and plastic petroleum lid into the ground to decompose over millennia.  And I'm not happier.  I still hear myself say, "That was nice.  I should get a pedicure."
     Next time I hear the advice, "Do something for yourself" I think I will take it as a reminder that, instead of heading for Starbucks, I need to take some deep breaths, be present in the moment, and maybe get a babysitter if I need to.  Then I can ask myself what it really is I need.  I can acknowledge what I want is a chai tea latte, and maybe that would be a good thing to drink.  But what I need is peace of mind.  If I can have peace of mind, then I will be content.  The chai is just something I've decided to enjoy.  It's not something I deserve.  The Earth deserves for me to bring my own mug.  My body deserves a walk to the coffee shop.  I will enjoy the chai, but it won't change me.  A smartphone would not change me, either.  Only I can change me.  If I want to, that is!
   
P.S. Zac gave two-year-old William $3 yesterday.  It was the first time he had any money of his own.  I asked him what he wanted to buy with it.  Unaware of his options, William boldly exclaimed, "Diapers!"  Maybe the fourth generation will be more practical?